“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”
~Thornton Wilder

Sometimes it feels like nothing is the same as it used to be. In 2020, at least, this seems to be the case. This summer was unrecognizable compared to years past. At kitchen tables across the nation, kids are sitting at their laptops, trying their best. Now that I think about it, so are their parents!

Even seemingly unassailable family traditions are on the chopping-block, Thanksgiving dinner being one of them. One of the things I’ve looked forward to most every year is going around the table and asking, “What are you most thankful for?” Young and old, big or small, everyone has their turn. In my family, it’s a sacred time of reflection, laughter, and on occasion, tears. And yes, you can talk and eat at the same time. 

Being intentionally grateful (or having an attitude of gratitude, if you prefer rhymes sometimes), has an incredibly powerful effect on nearly every aspect of our lives. Dozens of published studies agree that psychological, physical, and interpersonal health all improve dramatically when we purposefully and regularly acknowledge what we are grateful for, but the benefits don’t end there.

GRATITUDE & MONEY

When I’m thankful for the things I have, it fundamentally changes the way I think about what I need (or, more precisely, what I want). Oftentimes, it’s a lack of gratitude that leads to increased, impetuous spending — especially impulse purchases. We all know the rush we get from “retail therapy”, but we also know that the “high” doesn’t last very long. That “new car smell” fades pretty quickly. Simply put: when I’m genuinely thankful for what I have, I don’t feel much of a compulsion to go out and buy something else. 

My wife and I have a monthly budget, and most of the time we stick to it – and then there are those other times. We have a phrase we like to use for those months: “we blew up the budget.” The first thing to go when we blow up the budget? Long-term savings. “The kids don’t really need to go to a four-year college, do they? No? Good, then I’m ordering take-out tonight.” Being thankful leads to being less impulsive, which means I more-readily stick our plan, which means there’s money left over at the end of the month. You’re welcome, kids, Tacoma Community College is back on the table!  

Being grateful also leads to increased generosity. When I’m dissatisfied, it’s hard to think about anyone, or anything else. Alternatively, when I’m thankful, then I’m more apt to share what I have with others. Beyond the emotional, spiritual, (and lest we forget) tax benefits, giving to charity also has the added bonus of making sure I don’t blow up the budget too often. I really don’t want to have the “I’m sorry, Red Cross, but I spent my planned donation on an 8th Gen iPad” conversation at the end of the year.

GIVING THANKS IS STILL ON THE TABLE

So, this year, I’m going to try and keep this tradition alive. You should, too. Your tradition doesn’t have to look like mine, but showing, sharing, and teaching gratitude is something everyone should practice. What are you grateful for? Write some things down. Say them out loud. Tell your family, and tell your friends. We should do this on purpose, and regularly – not just on Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving is a good time to start. If you’re not going to be with your family, it’s ok. Set up a videoconference. If you don’t know how, it’s ok, your grandkids can teach you – something to be grateful for.