Nate Porter, Chief Operating Officer, SoundView Advisors
I can’t quite recall the first time I uttered this article's titular phrase: Clarity is Kindness. Still, anyone who has spent any amount of time with me is, I’m sure, tired of hearing it by now. I’d like to think it just popped into my head one day, but at this point, I’m not even sure if the expression is original to me or not. Nevertheless, I claim it as my own, and I’ve carried it with me like a cherished heirloom for as long as I can remember.
I SAW THE LIGHT
Believe it or not, I used to be afraid; remarkably so. I was afraid of hearing what people really thought of me and, in turn, fearful of giving folks my honest thoughts about their actions, words, and behaviors. As you can imagine, this sense of dread wasn’t helpful in my personal relationships or my professional life.
Fortunately, a few key people in my life didn’t share the same fears. During a particularly meaningful conversation, a mentor pulled me aside one afternoon and explained that failing to be direct with people, especially when they were being harmful (toward me, themselves, or others), wasn’t actually showing them consideration, empathy, or compassion. I convinced myself I was showing them kindness by not being upfront and direct about their actions. All the while I was allowing them to hurt themselves and others. I was hiding helpful truth because I was afraid.
In my attempt to be kind to people, I wasn’t being clear with people – and just like that, a light went on, and a saying was born.
TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS
Like so many of you, I have been in the position to manage many different sorts of individuals (and teams) throughout my career. I’ve hired many employees, and yes, I’ve had to fire people, too. Throughout that time, I’ve found I’ve never regretted establishing personal connections with those I work with. Not only is it easier to work with people you genuinely care about, but it’s also a heckuva lot more fun.
Moreover, when I’ve put in the time to ensure someone knows I have a genuine care for them, they’re much more likely to hear me out when I give them direct feedback on areas where they need to improve. This is not an easy skill to master, mind you, but it can be learned and taught. There’s a true skillfulness to ensuring your “clear communication” is helpful (and not just plain mean). Being clear isn’t just for critique, either. Clarity is needs to be voiced regarding positive qualities and achievements, as well. Never underestimate the power of unembellished praise.
A FOURTH YACHT?
I’m not a financial planner, which is fortunate for all of us.
However, I’m convinced that the work our Planning Team puts into providing grounded, honest, realistic, and candid assessments concerning your financial future is one of the most valuable services we offer here at SoundView. Sometimes, I think it would be easier to be afraid and avoid the hard, clear conversations. Afraid of admitting we don’t have a “crystal ball” when it comes to the markets, interest rates -- or pandemics, for that matter. Afraid to suggest delaying retirement for just a few more years. Afraid of telling you to “think twice before buying that fourth yacht.” I kid, obviously… buy the yacht, but my point stands.
I’m proud to be part of a firm that will have the hardest conversations about the hardest topics during the hardest times. The fun conversations are easy, and we have plenty of those, too. Most of all, we aim to make a deep and lasting positive impact on your lives. We aim to show you that kindness. And kindness like that, as we know, takes clarity.