*by Kevin Slater, CEO, Lead Advisor, CFP®*

We have had a few friends and distant relatives pass away these past weeks. Naturally, it has led to a time of reflection and conversations about them. To the chagrin of advancement departments everywhere: little of the conversation has been about what they did with their money. We have talked far more about how they personally impacted us and the people around them. What did they equip us to do, help us become, or make us believe was possible?

Bill was a friend of more than thirty years, and I served on two boards with him. He was patient and encouraging to others no matter the circumstances. I saw him handle contentious situations with astounding grace and strength that calmed people down. He endowed us with how to be kind to people in divisive situations.

On the other hand, a distant relative’s death brought out stories of harsh words to many different people and some physical altercations. His endowment was how to mistreat people who help you.

These stories generated questions from my kids about family they never knew. My Grandpa Art’s endowment was to approach difficult situations with a strong work ethic and a sense of humor. He did his chores with a twinkle in his eye while muttering self-deprecating one-liners.

Reflecting on their lives is tuning me into the words I use and the feelings I project. What am I communicating in various situations? Am I bringing out the best in other people? What am I suggesting are the appropriate responses to adversity or stress? Am I giving people hope or affirming their worst assumptions?

While I am not the only influence in people’s lives, it doesn’t take much to leave a strong impression.